You are living with a hole not dying of it, it must not let it kill me before it kills me

Somebody should tell us, right at the start of our lives, that we are dying. Then we might live life to the limit, every minute of every day. Do it! I say. Whatever you want to do, do it now! There are only so many tomorrows. — Pope Paul VI

 But when someone told me that I was dying, I started dying. I was ok living with a hole, I lived with it and not die of it. I did not let it kill me before it kills me. But dying and knowing you are dying, it just stops me from doing everything I wanted, from living the life I wanted. Just that this hole is so bad now that I cannot do the activities I wanted to do anymore. Well I guess gotta reformat the meaning of living from now on.